Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison
greensh

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Died While Carving It!

I'm feeling rather silly. Rather silly indeed! This is a scene from Holy Grail that tickles my mate and I whenever we think of words written for others to find.

ARTHUR
What does it say?
MAYNARD
It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
ARTHUR
What?
MAYNARD
'...The Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
BEDEVERE
What is that?
MAYNARD
He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it!
MAYNARD
Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
GALAHAD
Perhaps he was dictating.
ARTHUR
Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
MAYNARD
No. Just, 'aaaaaagggh'.
LAUNCELOT
Aaaauugggh.
ARTHUR
Aaaaaggh.
BEDEVERE
Do you suppose he meant the Camaaaaaargue?
GALAHAD
Where's that?
BEDEVERE
France, I think.
LAUNCELOT
Isn't there a 'Saint Aaauuves' in Cornwall?
ARTHUR
No, that's 'Saint Ives'.
LAUNCELOT
Oh, yes. Saint Iiiiives.
KNIGHTS
Iiiiives.
BEDEVERE
Oooohoohohooo!
LAUNCELOT
No, no. 'Aaaauugggh', at the back of the throat. Aaauugh.
BEDEVERE
N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Oooooooh', in surprise and alarm.
LAUNCELOT
Oh, you mean sort of a 'aaaah'!
BEDEVERE
Yes, but I-- aaaaaah!
ARTHUR
Oooh!
GALAHAD
My God!
[dramatic chord]
[roar]
MAYNARD
It's the legendary Black Beast of Aaauugh!
[Black Beast of Aaauugh eats BROTHER MAYNARD]
BEDEVERE
That's it! That's it!
ARTHUR
Run away!
KNIGHTS
Run away!
[roar]
Run away! Run awaaay! Run awaaaaay!
[roar]
Keep running!
[boom]
[roar]
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!...
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