Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison
greensh

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My Human Condition

Next week is an unpleasant anniversary for me. I have confirmation of my human nature as I am plagued with doubts about the nature of the spiritual approach. The odd thing is that I am not doubting the underlying spiritual beliefs. Instead I have lost faith in the human expressions of the spirituality. The funny thing is that this makes me terribly common. It has also pushed me to not want to share my faith and beliefs. If the great teachers and devout students are so flawed, what hope do I have of portraying that which cannot be expressed? The result is my turning inward in isolation. The hope of finding a teacher and a tribe is muted for the time being. I am left with few avenues of hope, and the ones I do have will not be sufficient for a lasting life. Fortunately the only constant life is change, and it is to this that I pray.

Tags: dark night
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