September 8th, 2007

Cat - Noir

Some Random Thoughts

I had a pretty productive day. Half of the day was spent at work proving that an inspection system I designed worked. It did.

Tonight I had an interesting experience. I was watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter". The episode was "The Last Call". The episode synopsis follows:
Dog thinks he's got an average day of bounty hunting ahead of him, but he couldn't be more wrong.  Beth calls a client, Daphne, whose bond they have to revoke and makes a shocking discovery: Daphne's cosigner on her bond and ex-boyfriend, Bobby, has just committed suicide. Soon a sobbing Daphne turns herself in and Dog has his hands full trying to console her when another fugitive arrives at the office also to surrender. But it's not until Bobby's grieving mother arrives to confront Daphne that the emotional fireworks really start flying. It is a day filled with pain, sorrow and forgiveness--a day the Dog and the Da Kine team will never forget.
Here's the weird thing. I got really pissed at Daphne, the girlfriend who was left behind after the suicide of Bobby. I'm not sure what I was blaming her for, so I suspect it was an irrational (enough) thing of mine that popped up. I'll admit that I am the suicidal leaning type. Maybe I am identifying with Bobby. I became mad at the world around him that "led" him to suicide. The trick is that this theory is BS. Please note, the following comments acknowledge the exceptions of mental disease that robs people of 'sane' choices.

People can make lives a living heck for us. Stress can lead to shorter lives via illness, etc. The choice to check out REAL early via suicide is just that, a choice. Nobody is making us do it. The people left behind may be evil jerks, but they are not the ones who should receive the lion's share of blame. The person that killed them self probably deserves the recrimination. My own sickness is revealed when I view Bobby's suicide with a "he managed to do it" attitude and was angry with Daphne instead. Part of me isn't listening to my noble and sane words about choice and victims. Interesting... I guess you can learn something from TV.