September 7th, 2014

Shaman - Horse

Panic Attack

This past weekend I got to experience something new. I had a full blown panic attack that led me to cancel out of a weekend event. I'm used to low level anxiety, but this was different. Why? Whenever I thought about attending the event I got the answer “no no no”. The kinda good news is that the intuitive answer was also no, but the emotions were so strong that I have to take the intuitive with a grain of salt.

Going forward is not easy. It is as if I am feeling aftershocks of the anxiety attack. Combined with something else in my life, the impact of the weekend is leaving me feeling drained. Creativity is sapped. There is a secondary fear. I gave my aplogies to group and told them that I could not attend. I left the impression that something was going on other than my emotional reaction to the group. I hope this plays out in this manner... cause, I don't want to back away from the group as a whole. Hopefully time will heal this.