Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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True Monsters

I had a revealing dream today that illustrated my "control" over dreams and what I really fear. In this dream I was to attend a reunion football camp. I didn't play football in HS, but this did not seem to matter. My things were cross-country and track. Anyway, I arrived and found out that all the covered locations were taken and I had to sleep in my van outside the building. This did not make me happy. I left the location for a time to run an errand and expected to return for dinner. During the scenes that followed, my van became a large bus and I collected a buncha people. We stopped in at a house to relax/party, and boy did it turn into a party. We missed the dinner time for the football camp even though we all had to attend. A truth-or-dare session was going on in the front room. I finally participated, and the session poofed before my turn came around. Then the house became more and more quiet. I walked out to the front lawn and saw everyone leaving in MY van/bus. They went up and down the street and then vanished from sight. The football camp was too far way to allow a walk to it, so I was stuck at the house. I began to flag down cars and talked to a guy who should have been at the football camp. I asked him to take me there and he said that he was looking for the party on this street. I found out that the bus/van and my former party goers were two houses down from me. I walked to house and sure enough the bus/van was there. I walked into the house and confronted the people who were then sitting around a kitchen table. I told them off and then told my wife not to come back, and that she would here from my lawyer the next week. I returned to my house and the archetypal "nightmare" scene began. Demons and monsters were in the house. They grabbed me and pulled me from room to room. I withdrew from that part of the dream and the demons left. I was never really frightened and was much more pissed about the betrayal of my friends.

There is more to the "scenery" of the dream, but these are the basic themes. The bottom line is that the demons/monsters did not really frighten me. They were more of a distraction/nuisance that I had to distance myself from. I could not distance myself from being an outsider, a role I've had all my life. This is the true monster in my dream. I did not wake in terror, but the theme of rejection did greatly sour what should have been a good group dream.


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