Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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Seeing the Best in Others

This week I had phone conversations with two of my close friends. I love them dearly and the dialog reminded me that I see such great potential in their lives. They may struggle at times, sometimes a lot, but I see only their accomplishments and possibilities. The past is in the past. The important thing is what they can do now and in the future.

I need to do the same for myself. This week an application I wrote went into full use. Originally a training tracking application, I've modified it over the years to provide a platform for training requirement generation and online training verification (with test questions and electronic signature). We went through a multi-month validation process that finally was completed this week. To put this in perspective, applications with similar features to what I've built into this are in the $200K range.

So, I pull off something that many many many people cannot. I wrote a complex computer application that has features equal or above industry standards. I very much enjoyed the process writing the applications. I don't excel at accepting praise and/or incorporating it. When I talk about most anything I do I am quick to point out the "shortcomings" of a thing or want to speak about what improvements still need to be made. This is not normal and it has hurt how people have seen my accomplishments. They have taken my statements of "well, it could be improved by doing such and such" as an indication that something was wrong with the product. Not a good move.

I am striving to be more positive and be more receiving. It is tough. Self worth/image is one of the things I struggle with. It seems to be the opposite of having an over-inflated ego/personality. Going back to my friends, it is nice to have them as mirrors so I can see what is possible for me. I may be blind(ish) to my potential, but I cannot deny that I could have something when I see the potential in my friends. Tis a good thing!

Little Dog, BIG BOWEL by *greensh on deviantART

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