Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison
greensh

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Going to the Cabin in the Woods

A recent video on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olEbwhWDYwM) celebrated using logic and common sense as a way of surviving horror movies. This inspired me to ponder how a person would purposely NOT have good survival instincts. The following theoretical blog entry is the result...

I know of an old cabin in the woods that is available for a group get away. It is on the grounds of a former summer camp. There is a beautiful lake for swimming! An abandoned mental health hospital is nearby. Yeah, there are allegations of bizarre experiments taking place there, but I thought it would neat to explore at night if we get bored. The cabin was last used by my uncle the historian. He was last working on a really neat project of translating an ancient book. I've not heard from him recently, so either we can surprise him or have the cabin to ourselves. I'm sure they've repaired that bridge on the only road going to the cabin! So, any takers? My 1970s sedan leaves this weekend with or without you!

Yeah, it does sound boring, so I am bring along the antique puzzle-cube that I've trying to open. It glows every so often, so I think I've almost got it figured out! We can make it a group project because I know there is some really fun inside!

Shoot, the massacre at the Quartz Lake summer camp took place over five years ago. There will be nobody around now and we'll have the entire place to ourselves.

For entertainment I've got this so called "cursed" VHS tape. It belonged to my cousin. It is all ours to view because my cousin died in a freak accident involving a roto rooter, hair spray and a gerbil. Just goes to prove that most accidents happen in the home!

I'm bringing a really horny couple who have sex at the drop of a hat. We won't see much of them this weekend! The good thing is that it will be easy for them to find a secluded place for some alone time.

This weekend will be a nice break. I'm finally over the jet lag from visiting Japan. I had to check out that so called "haunted" house. Phhhzzztt. The weird thing is that all my tour companions seem to have dropped off the grid. I'm sure they've just gotten too busy to keep in touch. The last time I talked to one of them they mentioned the white faced girl with long black hair. It must be a new fashion trend, because I've seen the same style here!

I just heard from a former college associate. Super news. She is coming too! She needs a break from the routine. She just heard that her psychotic ex-husband just escaped from the local insane asylum along with a bunch of other chainsaw favoring inmates. It will nice to know that we'll be safe in a secluded place far away from distractions like this!

Heads up... I plan to video tape everything this weekend. This will leave us with fond memories of our carefree adventures. It will be like that "found" video so popular nowadays!

This may rule out people with allergies, but I've got to bring my cat Hugo. A real miracle kitty, she was buried at the pet cemetery and came back! Yeah, she is a little mussed and smells weird. I'd be almost homicidal too if my breath smelled like that, but you have to love your four legged children!


EDITOR'S NOTE: the author of the above blog did not return from the weekend, but a cursed video of the weekend was found.

Tags: horror movie blog survival
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