Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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Break-Up Expectations

I suppose this is where I show that I'm a self-centered guy. I know I have selfishness issues. With that said, it is challenging for me to see the sanity in the following letter excerpt featured on a Just / My Type blog entry.

One evening, he had a night out with friends, and got completely obliterated. He ended up cheating on me with an acquaintance of mine. I found out in a span of 48 hours by slowly putting together clues that weren’t making sense. I broke up with him and moved out.
For the months that followed, during the darkest low of my life, he was awful to me. He avoided me, didn’t show me compassion and never tried to offer help or communicate he was sorry. The thing is, the love I have for him hasn’t disappeared, even after what he did.

I can believe the behavior described in the letter. The guys screwed the pooch when he had a drunken one-night stand. His girlfriend found out and kicked him out. OK. For me that is relationship over. She then seems to not understand why the former boyfriend is avoiding her, not showing her compassion and not offering help. This is a mystery to her because she still very much loves him.

Heavy sigh. Communication is a two-way street. I've seen this before... the expectation that the guilty party, in this case the guy, ought to come back begging for mercy. We don't know how loud and furious the break up was. We don't know if harsh things were said. Some lines could have been crossed that blocked a unilateral response on the former boyfriend's part.

The desired response that the former girlfriend wants is not going to happen. Am I a selfish douche-bag guy when I say this?
Tags: break-up, expectations, just / my type

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