Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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Poem - Beyond When

The poem “Beyond When” was inspired by the stated goals of the poet “Survivor” on website “Deep Underground Poetry”. Their passionate mission is to connect with and inspire other survivors while continuing their own journey. This touched me. My poem explores the injustices of the world that create those who struggle to survive. The breadth is large, allowing most people to identify with lifetime occupation of surviving. My secondary goal is to give the abusers of the world a mirror that will perhaps give them pause if they are willing to consider their ways.

Beyond When

When the belt was put
to flesh to young to fully understand
wounds inflicted
to sate the anger of the older ones
escape comes with age
for the rage they have will never stop
I move beyond reach
the blows find another place to land
or Father Time
removes the strength from abusers to act

when words were poisoned
weaponized to inflict the deepest hurt
anthrax is no match
to the toxins laced in the words spoken
honed to just harm
no other purpose may be found in their use
anger’s other child
companion to the fists that mar the skin
there is no defense
when the invisible is venom to the soul

when sex was given
to others taking what should be mine
where did my worth go
was the affection there when the words were spoke
the love is absent
passion so empty when our bodies embrace
lives endangered
diseases of the body, corruption of the mind
our trust revoked
when deposits are made to stranger’s banks

when body was taken
boundaries breached by stranger and the known
neither is benign
each has their reason to think the acts are acceptable
in Hell’s dark domain
the Lord of Lies has found these evil ones
the most intimate
breached by those who had no right to have their way
my choice removed
when nature’s most holy has been stolen.

when belief was absent
denial is the response that society finds
by the monsters now too safe in their arms
so respectable
don’t rock the boat when the course has been set
only the asking
if I’m sure of the act now carved in my life
why can’t they see
it must be nothing when attackers walk free

when the sum of this
all of life’s stones cast to beat me down
bring me to my knees
asks me to leave my blood on the ground
life has no handhold
the safety net forgotten when I was born
I’ll find the answer
a reason to exist beyond the consuming dark
walk toward the light
to where the door was always there, just out of sight.

2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20161106.
Tags: abuse, depression, poem, rape

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