Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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Poem - I Don't Understand

The poem “I Don’t Understand” is about one of those phrases used in frustration and felt like a dagger. It implies idiocy or evil of another when used by a rational, sane individual. Warning. Incredibly dark language with trigger words / concepts.

I Don't Understand

I don't understand, these are the words
that close the door to life that I desire
if I'm a mystery wrapped in disgust
what point is there living beyond this riddle?
I hear it too often, it is the refrain
to my behavior seen in extreme
human condition cannot be the cause
when reason is used to consider discord.

Emotion is fluid, it comes and it goes
understanding is logic, divorced from the flow
here is the crux of continued dialogue
the smiles hide the puzzle you have in your mind
the moment may pass, the question left there
the smile on the face is quick to return
yet still the facts are left without recourse
there are two paths to explain my conduct.

You think I'm crazy, bolts rolling loose
in my brainpan I'm evil or loon
which could it be, what would you like
to find out I'm wicked or out of my mind?
both are dire options if life will progress
with madman or rouge so near at hand
I wish I could state an answer that could
alieve you of questions that damn me both course.

The former is heinous, to think you've long-lived
with the high villain to which you're in bound
what harmful secrets do I also hide
in my vicious depths defying your mind?
a nightmare you've beckoned when this answer begs
the knowing of depths that my guile still hides
perhaps I am hollow, full of nasty
this should end now, malignant extinct.

The latter is sad, the worst of the two
to think I'm insane within my these four walls
nothing can fix what madness has wrought
no wonder you're puzzled when you're the sane one
holding the candle while I walk the mists
lost in miasma that steals the reason
they say of lame animals, that have no worth
put them down easy before they cause hurt.

Two ways are the answer to well-reasoned quests
to know my behavior that stressed your heart
while knowing is half of the battle you weigh
neither answer is good when life is betrayed
both may ask what can be done with the one
with foulness or craze lodged deep in their soul
the only right thing is to load up the gun
end it all now so the questions are done.

2016, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved, 20161205
Tags: depression, poem

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