Exploration found her there
stating how she was dismayed
caught in the videos from the past
still alive, though she tried
to leave this plane was her desire
on a dark night the attempt was made
a camera recorded the sad message
to the ones she bid farewell.
Her life once saved, was shared
distributed by self-made tapes
on social media she bravely stood
asking others to stay as well
this lesson learned by the young
this old dogs asked to understand
survivor’s lore of bygone days
not dissimilar from my own.
Her dairies hold the streaks of red
much like my poems put to read
each stating the bloody path
walked with struggle, still it lasts
my syntax may be above
better than the grade school’s tome
each is a dairy kept to mark
a time of hell upon this earth.
I’ve not cut to do harm
to myself in a search for
peace in chemicals surging forth
while pain distracts the mind
instead I’ve hid behind cold words
just as red as drips from wounds
seeming black upon the page
pleading same as smears she placed.
Neurotic was the term she used
describing depths that would not end
diagnoses of my life explained
from another one that struggled same
for these facts I am thankful
a path from doom has been revealed
diagnosis is the start
when dreams of death are constant.
Not just one day in a great while
or there a week in a year’s span
instead the verdict is PPD
from the manual of DSM
so much part of the character
the Greek’s bad state of mind
on the screen I saw a champion
stating what what she fought each day.
Now I wish her the very best
that long life be her reward
for living above the dark invites
from a mind that seems broke
with loved ones by her side
a sea of followers at her back
I stand by them in written praise
of the one still present here.
While the bad days still occur
her relapse, my brain funk
now kindred spirits a world apart
are held by threads of self-loves’ fight
when another shows the way
by dark example and bright day
diagnosis of words that match
I thank the world for Ana’s life.
© 2017, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170330.