Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison
greensh

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Poem - I Vacillate

“I Vacillate” is about the seesaw of my self-worth.


I Vacillate

In this world I vacillate
between two poles of self-worth
one as small as a tick
another has me drive the bus
back and forth I twist in place
without foundation long under feet
pride is found in the bias
as doubts pile to find balance.

With the highs come the lows
bounced between confidence
thrill of living on one hand
an end is sought to compensate
if I’m swept to fall again
it would be normality
may I drift into the air
then fall to ground to try once more.

When the loudest ask for more
than I'm ready to put forth
I slink away to find my place
in the background away from fame
as the years push on by
I’m left again to flip the switch
on a life that’s run its course
this is my feeling in the dark.

I sometimes wonder why I try
to push the boulder up the hill
if my value is mismatched
to the effort of the task
with a vision of my impact
or a blindness of all things
where I stand in this world
is an angst deep in my soul.

© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170918.
Tags: esteem, poem
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