Big Rowan Ackison (greensh) wrote,
Big Rowan Ackison

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Blog – Addressing Erections in Social Dancing

Social dancing can be about sharing connections with fellow dancers. And then there is such a thing as the guy sharing too much. That’s what I want to talk about. Erections happen. They are an involuntary part of the human physiology. They are also not supposed to be shared as part of social dancing. While these occurrences may be rare(ish), they are incredibly disruptive to the social dance experience.

What’s a guy to do if they become excited during a dance? Above all, please don’t share an erection with your partner. Keep the erection to yourself if one happens. Contact may occur with a partner. The way the contact is describes says volumes about its nature. Any characterization in the proximity of “rubbing” is NOT a good thing. I use this word because a female follow purposely used it when speaking of an erection offender. A single rub may occur before appropriate actions are taken. Stating “rubbing” implies that a continuous action has occurred. This ongoing unwanted intimacy is NEVER EVER a good thing between two people who are only there to dance.

What’s the big deal? Social dance has a trust component that is large inviolable. Exclusion of inappropriate touch is part of the contract the dancer has with fellow dancers and the dance organizers. Dancing is also dialogued relationship, with inappropriate connection the same as yelling obscene words. On top of being a form of physical attack, breaking the understanding can, and will drive people from the scene or correctly cause them to shun the offending dancer.

Some dance forms are close. The vast majority can be modified to provide separation between the bodies. Blues is included in that category. Almost never (ever) the excuse should be, “we are dancing X, so how can I be expected to not have my erection noticed?” Just don’t. The dance forms that do involve full torso-to-torso contact should be avoided if personal excitement is shared with a partner. “But what if it happens, and I can’t move away from my partner fast and far enough?” Do what you can. Dance awkwardly. Style points should be lost in order to maintain the integrity and civility of social dance.

What happens if a person cannot manage the sharing of their erections with a greater world? As I mentioned before, they could, and should, be asked to leave the social dance scene. The relative innocents would say, “It’s an involuntary physical reaction”. Human nature goes to very dark places, and social dancing cannot be a playing field for these. It has fertile soil for exploitation by the predators. Barriers to social and physical proximity are put aside on the dance floor. The predator will abuse this. The damage afflicted is the same whether the unwanted contact is relatively innocent or maliciously purposeful. This injury cannot be allowed to continue.

Lastly, I want to address the “socially awkward” lead. This person has the excuse that they don’t know better. This reasoning is unfortunate. It can be hoped that the socially awkward person learns quickly before a community takes corrective action. The dance community must take precedence as it is not a healthy place for an individual to blunder through learning social intimacy. The possible damage to the partners and community is inexcusable. The overall pain and disruption of their lesson should be cut short. Social dancing is bigger than a single person. It is a clearinghouse of connecting, with intimacy put in its proper place.
Tags: blog, social dance

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